Hostage

Now I'm back for my mission
My mind is now paying attention
I have been thru many wars, but its time to learn to forget it
I'm trying to be a Christian
But many things complicate my vision
Intricate views, perplexed living
Debating if I'm-wrong or right,
Cause it seems when something is going good, it seems that it is all a
vivid play write
So i stay in the dark and try to be all right
Get a pad and pen and write to the world about my life
Thru the trials and tribulations and everything that I fight
I keep on grinding and use my time to think in despite
Cause your bad times only come when it is dark at night
But when the sun comes up, you can restart your whole life
I will take it as it is
As the problems turn real big
This is what I go through, trying to seek revenge
For everything that was done wrong to me, I can see I'm not a kid
Cause young life was smooth and dandy, now I misdid
EVERYTHING, So god please forsake me for my sins
As I sit here contemplating, my world is doing spins
As I see many grins
From the places were i been
I provoke all doubters that i will not loose but i will win
So i pray to the gods, for all the things that was dealt
To instill strongly matters before i kill myself
Suicidal mind, vindictive war cries, I seen in time
But the facts remain, theses troublesome thoughts will all subside
So i surrender all to you to keep me going the right way
Pathways outlay many things to be portray
With no delays, its seems everything is now on display
I will keep on with my life and do what you say
So please relive this suffrage and guide me thru college
Open up my mind so I can receive some good knowledge
Cover me with your spirit to give me some more courage
To break away from all these shackles and not be a hostage
Cause I'm tired of being damage and treated as a hostage